'Why are ppl so racist?'

I recently came across this line in some one's ORKUT profile, "Why are ppl so racist?". I gave this question some thought.Then I asked myself 'Am I a racist?' I got an instant 'Yes'. Then I asked 'Why am I a racist?' Why???

This story dates back to 1980s when my aunt joined B.Sc Physics in a college. Then our family was so poor. My father had to take over the family burden at the age of 19 with an younger brother and 3 younger sisters as my grand pa died of cancer. Poor to the extent that he used to skip meals to save money for my aunt's college fees. My aunt was so good at studies that she scored good marks. Despite all these her request for her favorite Chemistry was denied because she is an FC, bloody quota system. My kins often used to remind me that we are doomed and have to put huge efforts to save our interests.

Now coming to TNPCEE 2005. My cousin a very serious CEG aspirant. She stood 2nd in her district (Villupuram) in TN_HSC 2004. But unfortunately she missed CEG then, so she waited for another year made hell a lot of preparation to achieve her dream. She is from a lower middle class family with the only source of income being her dad's salary from a petty job in railways. Her parents never passed through their secondary schools. She scored good in TNPCEE 2005 and got an overall 207th rank amongst the 70+K students who appeared for the exam from across the state.

No use. She still lost her dream, her place in the CSE dept of CEG. She can't afford to wait for another year so, she choose CSE in MIT(Madras Institute of Tech). If only she were a BC at least. She lost her dream by a meager 0.18 marks out of 300.

Though these people are my blood relations I still don't take it too personally. Then how did I turn out to be a racist?

Yes it happened to me. I appeared for TNPCEE 2005. I rarely slept for more than 5hrs a day through out my 12th standard. I would never say I worked hard but I worked with a passion, a passion to achieve. Achieve what? My robotic dreams. I honestly wanted to be a robotician and work in DRDO to put India's defense tech much forward then others. I aspired to study ECE in CEG.

I stood 150th among the above mentioned 70K+ sudents. I scored the best engg cut-off in my educational dist. I didn't say this to boast myself but to tell you that I proved best, provided the environment. May be If I were in Chennai, in some good school like DAV, may be, I would have brought my mom's IIT dreams true.

Then what happened in counselling? I were in the first day 1st batch of counselling. There were 160seats in the ECE dept of CEG (Now it is 200+). And more than half of those 149 before me opted for other options like IITs, NITs, Medicine or Aeronautics etc etc. So I would have got ECE if only there was no quota system or at least if it had been a little sensible. How could they just like that turn me down just because I was born a OC. My dad is not rich. He is just a Police HC and earns somewhere around 16-17K a month and my parents are not even graduates.

May be like my cousin I could have compromised. I could have opted for ECE at MIT. However it's the least I can do for my dad. When I entered the CEG campus for counselling, my dad recalled a incident 20yrs past. Then he had just joined the force and was posted as one of the guards during an electing in the same campus. He recalled that then he wondered whether his son will ever get to be a student in that campus. The tinkle in his eyes nothing's bigger than that. So I made the choice of CSE at CEG.

When a girl from a rich and well educated family ( both her parents are proffessors and her elder sister an Engg.) said that she got 194th place 44 places behind me and got ECE because she is a BC. How do you still expect me to acquiesce the first line of the pledge, "All Indians are my brothers and sisters". How could you expect me to believe all are equal. No way.

Why would I care to defend some country where my dreams are destroyed? where my people's interests suffer. I can't. I am no more a patriot. I m a racist. I wan to be a rich to serve the interests of my people. Yes I m a bloody brutal racist.