Sunday, November 21, 2010

Will Kitty reach home alive?

It was early morning 2.50AM. I had just reached E’s place in a fast track tavera. I was literally faltering with my every step like I just had half a dozen larges of 40% Vodka ;) Got the keys from E and kicked my Suzuki Heat to start after a few attempts.

I hit the OMR in a couple of mins. Just when I was done with my initial prayers to get me safe to my place, God blessed me from heaven with a heavy down pour. In seconds I was drenched till my underwear. The highway lights were out. With my already half obscured vision through my spectacles and the broken glass of my helmet I could see nothing through the dark rain.

I was completely devoid of all senses except for the feel of my bike’s handle bar and the seat under my dry ass (the only part the rains spared). I was wondering whether I ll reach home alive. It was just a leap(ride) of faith. After all it is my very own OMR, the IT highway. I was just trusting my instincts then relying on my senses.

Mind started reeling over the consequences of my death, and who ll be hurt the most.
Obviously the first two options were my mom and her. In a fuzzy background I was also reminded of my caring TL K who asked me to give a call once I reach home and my cousin N and my sis A. And my thoughts went back to the two most loving women in my life.

My first response was ‘How could you even compare mom with her, after all it’s just been months.’ The counter response, ‘Why should time come in the place of measuring love?’ After a few arguments and counter arguments I resolved the debate that both their hearts are filled to the brim with their love for me and they ll feel a saturated amount of sadness on my loss. And hence I should start using every last bit of my senses to keep myself alive.

Just then I felt something heavy near my heart. Well yes it was my Sony Ericsson. I stopped the vehicle to put it in my bag safe. Immediately after I started the ride again I was wondering what will happen if I skid and fall? Will anyone come to my aid? Will the highway patrol find me? Will I be in a position to dig out my mobile out of my bag to call for help? My W595 has a knack for getting hanged at the most crucial moments. Will it be of any help after getting wet of rain?

Then I saw it. My s(odium)ilver lining. The highway lamps were glowing at a distance. Thankfully the lamps were on after Shollinganalur signal. My first ray of hope from a sodium vapor. Don't know whether it's the speedometer needle oscillating over 80kmph or the rain that gave me the jitters. Controlling my sub conscious urge to drive the throttle further, I was holding my clattering jaws together and trying to have a grip on the slippery road.

I was almost there. The down pour dropped to a drizzle. That's when I saw 2 security guards of one of the IT companies walking side by side. It immediately gave me the romantic thought of how nice it would be to walk with her at this time of the night with a drizzle. My conscience cut it off, 'You bloody must be alive to bloody walk with her'. I pulled myself back and concentrated on getting me home.

Finally, at the end of hell, I reached my home. Room sweet room. All the pleasant memories of my room flooded my mind with the faces of all those loved ones. Don’t know what is keeping me awake at 3.50AM now listening to the heavy metal collection which I recently got from P. Guess am just savoring being alive. Gotta wash of the cold nightmare with a hot shower now.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

7 things why most girls like VtV

Yesterday when I came home and opened FB which has become one inevitable thing for me in my daily routine, I was spellbound at the number of wall posts with VTV. I got more than intrigued to watch the movie right away.

I called up my friend and traveled 20+kms to the nearest theatre screening the movie. I got the tickets after more than half an hour of standing in a very long queue. I sworn to myself to savor every frame of it.

Now I take a neutral stance about the movie.I got mixed responses from guys, but why on earth so many girls were fascinated by VTV.

When I went to bed after watching the movie at around 1PM I was more than tired, but something was running as a background job(Mainframe terminology :p)

Here I present to you the outcome of that job conjugated with a little research.

The top 7 reasons why I strongly do believe are the reasons for the profound feminine liking for VTV:

1. ARR’s music, without which the movie would have been a blown-out balloon.
2. 2+hrs of Ogling at the cute, sweet, handsome Simbu.
3. The irrefutable truth that IT salary can make even Trisha gorgeous.
4. The cool concept of just friends and the freedom and the flexibility that comes with it.
5. Putting herself in Jessey’s shoes and the very feel of a guy like Simbu chasing her like crazy.
6. Even if she chooses the best option (Financially and hence pragmatically), she can still maintain a non-bitchy image as she is so in love with her parents.
7. Even if she has a nice time with an unemployed unsettled cool guy, she can always look forward to settle in the US marrying a well paid professional.

I could see lousy things flying towards me at my smutty review. Thank you for all that :p
All I wish for is a hay-day for spotalks.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Adiyal(A)Gunda(A)Hitmen Cousins

Handling ur Luv Villains

Adiyal Cousins Co. has grown into a multi million dollar company within the first yr of its IPO release, and the first ever company to be in the Forbes Fortune 50 in less than 5yrs of its inception. Their share prices have raised 19 fold in the last quarter. Here is the exclusive interview given to BT by the founders, the cousins, sharing their secret to success.

What does the term ‘Adiyal Mean’?
S: Adi – Hit. Al- man. The man whom you hire to hit someone is called Adiyal. Basically we are a Chennai based company. As we moved across various other states in the country we added ‘Gunda’.
N: As we have now grown into an MNC we had to give it a global name hence we have added Hitmen to the traditional name.

How did this idea occur to you? And Whose Idea is this?
 To answer the first question, my cousin N here was in love with a gal M. A guy named R had been disrupting all N’s romantic attempts to win over M. We had to handle him. Unfortunately we then had no one to go to. We lacked the necessary expertise, and he was crest-fallen.
N: S’s case was worse that every other gal he loved was already committed. We then decided to take care of handling such dorks from disrupting anyone’s love. The idea was basically my cousin S’s, who finds an opportunity in every failure.

So you say it was started as a Non-profit organization intended to serve guys in love?
 Yes, egjactly, and it isn’t ‘was’ but it still is. We are still on it.
S: But people fail to realize the value of things they get for free, and we had to take care of our operating costs.
N: To add a point. We do handle problems of handling gals. Gals can anytime contact my toll-free no 987654321
S: Gals can contact my number too 123456789, and yes it’s toll-free for gals.

Cool! The idea initially wouldn’t have been so appealing then, but even after you have crossed the 1Billion mark why don’t more people try entering into the sector?
 That’s a good question. In any entrepreneurial venture the initiator always gets a lead.
N: Similarly we do have the lead i.e. a few 100 more hitmen to crush anyone who intends to be our competitor.

Now apart from hitting you also provide eloping services etc how are these new services coming up?
 Our clients are truly happy about these new services.
S: Yet hitting remains our core expertise and the most sought service to date.

Your previous logo was the pop ‘Vurutukatai’ why did you replace it with a baseball bat?
 Just like our name, along our growth path we changed the logo to a ‘Hockey stick’ when we became national and now we are an MNC, and we need to keep our logo in par with international standards.

You talk about international standards why not go for Glock 16?
 We are not mafias Ms.Reporter.
S: And our success lies in simplicity. Rarely ever we come across clients who would want to handle hi-fi yankers.
N: In general these love villains are too timid to even resist a single hit. At the most we had to resort to ‘Thundu bladu’ i.e 1 half of a 7’o clock blade.
S: Finally it isn't about the hit weapon, but the hitman. We hire quality hitman, and all our hitman are of ISO 9001:2000 standard.

This explains your low operating costs and the high profits.
 Not at all. You make us sound like we are underpaying our staff and over charging our clients.
N: We run on low margins. The huge profits are because of our behemoth customer base.
S: We never knew that so many people wanted help with handling their love villains.

Harvard Business School has offered their honorary Doctorate to both of you, but why did you turn that offer down?
 As you know, we are running tight on our schedules. But HBS wanted us to give a guest lecture to their grads.
N: People like us who are into social service can’t take breaks. Love simply can’t wait. Our love clock runs 24x7.

How is the future of this hitting sector?
 As long as there is love, there will be villains, and we will have business to do.
N: And as I had already told you this is not about making money, but serving the needy. If at anytime if people find none to disrupt their love, we ll just be happy.
S: (hisses: N be quite don’t scare away our investors) But such a thing will never happen. As long as there is love there will be people to disrupt, if not we ll create such people. So we will always be in the market.

What is your advice to young and aspiring lovers?
 Don’t ever think of diplomacy it’s costlier. It will let your gal take you as timid, and it isn’t an effective way either. The added advantage is we rarely came across 2nds. Once you use our service none will ever think of crossing your love again.
N: Never fear we are here. Love as many gals as you wish we are here to handle the villains.