Thursday, January 14, 2010

Adiyal(A)Gunda(A)Hitmen Cousins

Handling ur Luv Villains

Adiyal Cousins Co. has grown into a multi million dollar company within the first yr of its IPO release, and the first ever company to be in the Forbes Fortune 50 in less than 5yrs of its inception. Their share prices have raised 19 fold in the last quarter. Here is the exclusive interview given to BT by the founders, the cousins, sharing their secret to success.

What does the term ‘Adiyal Mean’?
S: Adi – Hit. Al- man. The man whom you hire to hit someone is called Adiyal. Basically we are a Chennai based company. As we moved across various other states in the country we added ‘Gunda’.
N: As we have now grown into an MNC we had to give it a global name hence we have added Hitmen to the traditional name.

How did this idea occur to you? And Whose Idea is this?
 To answer the first question, my cousin N here was in love with a gal M. A guy named R had been disrupting all N’s romantic attempts to win over M. We had to handle him. Unfortunately we then had no one to go to. We lacked the necessary expertise, and he was crest-fallen.
N: S’s case was worse that every other gal he loved was already committed. We then decided to take care of handling such dorks from disrupting anyone’s love. The idea was basically my cousin S’s, who finds an opportunity in every failure.

So you say it was started as a Non-profit organization intended to serve guys in love?
 Yes, egjactly, and it isn’t ‘was’ but it still is. We are still on it.
S: But people fail to realize the value of things they get for free, and we had to take care of our operating costs.
N: To add a point. We do handle problems of handling gals. Gals can anytime contact my toll-free no 987654321
S: Gals can contact my number too 123456789, and yes it’s toll-free for gals.

Cool! The idea initially wouldn’t have been so appealing then, but even after you have crossed the 1Billion mark why don’t more people try entering into the sector?
 That’s a good question. In any entrepreneurial venture the initiator always gets a lead.
N: Similarly we do have the lead i.e. a few 100 more hitmen to crush anyone who intends to be our competitor.

Now apart from hitting you also provide eloping services etc how are these new services coming up?
 Our clients are truly happy about these new services.
S: Yet hitting remains our core expertise and the most sought service to date.

Your previous logo was the pop ‘Vurutukatai’ why did you replace it with a baseball bat?
 Just like our name, along our growth path we changed the logo to a ‘Hockey stick’ when we became national and now we are an MNC, and we need to keep our logo in par with international standards.

You talk about international standards why not go for Glock 16?
 We are not mafias Ms.Reporter.
S: And our success lies in simplicity. Rarely ever we come across clients who would want to handle hi-fi yankers.
N: In general these love villains are too timid to even resist a single hit. At the most we had to resort to ‘Thundu bladu’ i.e 1 half of a 7’o clock blade.
S: Finally it isn't about the hit weapon, but the hitman. We hire quality hitman, and all our hitman are of ISO 9001:2000 standard.

This explains your low operating costs and the high profits.
 Not at all. You make us sound like we are underpaying our staff and over charging our clients.
N: We run on low margins. The huge profits are because of our behemoth customer base.
S: We never knew that so many people wanted help with handling their love villains.

Harvard Business School has offered their honorary Doctorate to both of you, but why did you turn that offer down?
 As you know, we are running tight on our schedules. But HBS wanted us to give a guest lecture to their grads.
N: People like us who are into social service can’t take breaks. Love simply can’t wait. Our love clock runs 24x7.

How is the future of this hitting sector?
 As long as there is love, there will be villains, and we will have business to do.
N: And as I had already told you this is not about making money, but serving the needy. If at anytime if people find none to disrupt their love, we ll just be happy.
S: (hisses: N be quite don’t scare away our investors) But such a thing will never happen. As long as there is love there will be people to disrupt, if not we ll create such people. So we will always be in the market.

What is your advice to young and aspiring lovers?
 Don’t ever think of diplomacy it’s costlier. It will let your gal take you as timid, and it isn’t an effective way either. The added advantage is we rarely came across 2nds. Once you use our service none will ever think of crossing your love again.
N: Never fear we are here. Love as many gals as you wish we are here to handle the villains.