R & the Kitchen

After playing Age of Empires in LAN with N till 3AM, I got up by 9.30 this morning. R was waiting in the Kitchen cleaning up the mess caused by the overflowed flour.

R: We can have Idly Podi* for Dosa, but I don’t know where is the Oil!

Me: What nonsense! You have grown up to 22yrs old now. Can’t you prepare a Chutney?

R: Hmmm… what chutney?

Me: Coconut and nuts.

R: (After checking all the boxes for the nut) Hey it seems we don’t have it at home, get it from the shop.

Me: (After getting it back to kitchen) Ya here.

R: Can you break open the coconut?

Me: Sigh!!! (Opened it in 3 hard smashes)

R: Take the coconut out of its shell.

Me: Get me a screw driver.

R: What! Use the knife.

Me: I am allergic towards Knife u better do that.

R after a long struggle managed to get a few small pieces of coconut and grinded the coconut and the other nut* in a big jar.

Me: Hey idiot it’s a juice jar.

R: What’s wrong whatever be the jar. I don’t find the smaller jar.

Me: Sigh!!

R: (Tastes the Chutney) Oops!!

Me: What did u forget salt?

R: No… There is too much salt in it. We have to add more coconut and nuts.

Starts to struggle with knife and coconut again.

Me: I said use a screw driver.

She gets me one, and I finished the entire coconut in less than a minute.

Me: This is why I said use a screw driver.

Adds the coconuts and nuts into the jar, grinds and tastes it

R: Hmm hmm it’s still salty.

Me: Idiot don’t you even have the common sense that you should start with little salt and then add more if needed.

R: Ya what an idiot I am. Sh*t what shall I do now.

Me: Well run away somewhere far away and never ever get yourself married with someone and spoil the life of a guy.

R: Hmmm hmm let me add this chilly (adds a big green chilly into the jar)

Me: Seriously you are going to give a very bad time to your in-laws.

R: Hey don’t speak too much. Do you know to do all this.

Me: Well I will never mess up something as simple, and I am a year younger than you, and I have 7 more years for marriage before which I ll get good at cooking, and I would have earned enough to employ a cook, or at the least I will conduct a cookery test for the girl before I marry her.

R: (Tastes the chutney now after grinding the chilly) This still tastes horrible.

The chutney was now over 2 times the initial estimate due to repeated addition of coconuts and nuts to neutralize excess salt. She placed the dosa pan on the stove and poured the flour on it. It was already 11AM and I was waiting hungrily for the dosa.


R: (Messes up the dosa) Cha even I don’t get this dosa properly. Why does all this happen only to me!

Me: ?!?!?

*Idly Podi: A ready made spicy powder usually home made which is served with cooking oil for idlies and dosas the two popular south Indian dishes made of rice flour.