Thursday, September 27, 2012

2020 One morning in the Life of BillKeth

I get up in the morning from my super-naturally intelligent  bed, that exerts pressure in different points and has other cool features for an exciting, energetic and energizing night. “Good morning Sweetie” 

“Good morning darling” sweetie’s voice subdues the dozy good morning of the gal in the bed.

The moment I start peeing, it’s analyzed for my latest health update. The data collected is matched with past data by a mainframe computer. The analysis data are then sent to sweetie. 

Sweetie analyses my physical and mental health condition of the day, and my schedule for the day. Based on all this analysis sweetie instructs SuperChef who can cook every cuisine on the solar system (including the dishes cooked with volcanic ash obtained from Mar's North Pole prepared only in my hotel chain 'The Exotic'). Superchef cooks a sample serving based on the data (Eg: if I have an important meeting that day, food should be less spicy to keep my temper down.) 

The sample serving is tasted by a team of chefs for modifications and suggestions. The proper serving is cooked after 3 sample serving & feedback cycles. 

Meanwhile in my gym, “Sweetie how are my 8 packs coming up.”

“Darl your abdomen is cooler than half of Hollywood 8pack celebs. I suggest that 6 packs looks cooler on you. 67% of current day cool heroes are with 6 packs, as against 14% with 8”

“But shouldn’t I be different?”

“But most gals are too used to 6 and for them 6 would be more turning on than 8. To add to it, 74% of your current dates are fans of 6pack celebs.”

“Oh forget it sweetie. Now just tell me what I should do to make it better than every one of the 14%.”

After workouts, I would be having a massage bath in a temperature, soap, foam, perfume, pressure, et al controlled pool. 
“I have suggested less proteins as you have strategies meet today so that you can be more active.”
“Fuck the meet sweetie, 8packs is more important. Recall the suggestion”
“The first swear word of the day. Your swear word count is still alarmingly high darl.”
‘Fuck the count.”
“SWC increased to 2” 
Sweetie keeps me updated on my days schedule and fills me with the data required for the day’s tasks. 
(Note: flimsy activities like brushing sh**ing are ignored. Not in my routine but here in the description)

"BTW darl our mainframe is getting overloaded these days with increasing data. The response time has gone up from 2nanoseconds to 2.003nanoseconds. It would be good to have a dozen more hectacores"
"Come on sweetie should you ask me. Just get them."
"They would cost 2.34million USD i.e. 1784K-bills. I am supposed to ask you before making purchases that are worth more than 1000K bills.(Currency of my business empire)"

Wardrobe walks into the bathroom. 
“Why are today’s suggestions too dull? And worst why they are yellow!!!”

“Today you might have to make the decision to decrease this year’s salary increment for trainees by 50 basis points. So it would be inappropriate to look bright. Your today’s date Amy loves yellow. She was a fan of Jim Carry when she was 15.”

“Oh God, Sweetie no one is gonna complain for their increment being reduced to 49.5% from 50%. And for god’s sake order some daffodils and give me something decent to wear.”

In my dining table, “Why are there no eggs in my breakfast? I said physic is more important than my meeting.”

“It’s according to that priority dear. If you have eggs now, you are most likely not to do your best in today’s meeting. Which in-turn would result in you feeling bad for 1.4hrs, which might result in a loss of 11.2gms of muscle, which is less than 7.2gms of muscle you gain from egg protein.”

“Did that stupid mainframe give you all these data!” 

“Should I get you the yellow Ferrari based on your date’s fav color or your Lotus of the month? And if I may suggest you the new Bentley sport would make an impression when you meet your client for lunch.”

“Which one is more likely that she will like?”

“So as always you don’t mind the client. Well then, it’s a 50-50 She will love the color as well be enticed by the looks of the Lotus.”

“Well then paint my Lotus yellow, and send it to my office before I start for the date, and get the Bentley to the doors now. Isn't the client rep that wharton MBA chic with whom we had the last meeting. Well she has got a classy taste.”

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